My, my.. I’ll be eighteen next year… I’ll also be a college junior next year… Okay, anyway, let’s get to the point.

I’m planning on doing maybe one photo a day? One artwork a day? Or just ramblings? Or all of those? I think this is a great excuse to use my camera and my pseudo-artistic skillz, ya know. I just hope this doesn’t stay as only a plan. HAHA.

Oh, and, Christmas was great. I couldn’t be at all festive, though, because of what happened in Mindanao. I didn’t get any gift on Christmas day itself but I got some during our Block Christmas Party and that shall suffice. It’s not about the gifts, anyway! Christmas will forever be my favorite time of the year, especially because here in the Philippines we celebrate for like four months (starting September)! I even like Christmas more than my birthday because I’m the only one who’s happy on my birthday but during Christmas, everybody is!

Aside from that, I’m also currently buried in schoolwork and other things I must accomplish before the Christmas vacation ends.

• Chemistry 40.1 Lab Reports (Experiments 2 and 3)
• Chemistry 40 review. Exam next Saturday oh my oh my.
• History 3 Paper
• FBC Shirt (I’m currently doing this since I already have Photoshop!)
• Bio 116 Synthesis Paper Topic

I haven’t finished anything yet.
2011 regret: PROCRASTINATING. 

That’s all for now, I think.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

P.S. New haircut!

Okay. Conceited. HAHAHA.

This is my first time (and most-est probably the last time) writing about you and/or actually telling the public about you, though concealed. I’m sorry, I just had to let this out because I had held everything for so long. A few knew, though. But I don’t know if you did.

I don’t know what happened.
I don’t know what we had. But I’m happy we kept at least a little of it.

You’ll always be my best friend.

I am very happy now, to tell you the truth. You know that.
And I honestly hope you are–or if not, will be–, too.

Always,
Steph a.k.a. AP/B/D

Schedule for the 2nd semester!

Above is my second semester schedule. Three semesters (+one summer semi-semester) down! Time flies so fast.

So happy I got the schedule I wanted! UPM CRS is love.

I wanted Thursdays and Fridays to be chill dahil tamad na tamad na ako by that time. So I just squeezed Mondays and Tuesdays! Also, I have the weekend to prepare for Monday and Tuesday.
Oh, and, good riddance, tamad Wednesdays!

Last semester was just ugh so I must bring back my good reputation (weh) and good grades this coming semester!

BRING IT ON, 20 units (again)!

Honorato Catindig, 1923-2011

That man in the photo is (or maybe was is more appropriate ;he’ll forever be in my heart though) my father.

Yuuup. I know you looked back at the “1923-2011″ thingy. Yup, he was 88 years old when he passed away. Yup, he was old enough to be my great-grandfather. But, yes, you read that right. He was my biological father. It’s a long story and it doesn’t matter anyway.

“Ingat,” (take care) I would always say to my dad or Papa, as I call him, whenever he leaves the house to manage our business. I remember rushing to the door just to have a last glimpse of him as his gold BMW slides down our driveway. I would wave at him and even give him flying kisses.

He died last 4th of October.
I went to school that day but I was at the hospital the day before to visit him. I couldn’t skip school because it was nearly the end of the semester and exams keep on piling up. I only knew about what happened when I went home from school.

My heart sank as I was putting the phone down. I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t want to believe in anything anymore. It was my mom who called me. (She called me earlier, asking me to go home early.)

You know, I’ve prepared myself all my life–for seventeen years–for that moment. When I was younger I knew our family setting was different, but I was lucky enough to have parents to remind me that we’re a family nevertheless.

I’ve prepared myself all my life. But I still felt like a hole was drilled through my chest when I heard my Mama’s voice saying, “Steph, wala na si Papa.” (Steph, Papa’s gone.)

I went to school when I was only at the fresh age of two. Before that, I would sit in my older brother’s class because I really really wanted to go to school already. I learned how to read, write lines and some letters, count, identify colors, etc. when I started going to school. I learned quickly and grasped what I was learning immediately. Maybe that’s the reason why I understood what was going on with my life at such a young age. I knew my Papa is not like any other kid’s Papa. He had white hair. I would always say to my friends that he just colored his hair gray or white but he’s still young when I know that the truth is he’s already 75 or 76 years old. I didn’t care.

I used to sleep beside him. That, I’ll always miss. What pains me more is that I’ll never hear his voice anymore. He had such a nice voice timbre. I didn’t even get to hear his voice when he passed away (he was intubated with a ventilator to pump air to his lungs). He would sing almost every single day. He would dance as well, just to make me laugh.

Ugh, I miss him. Him and his daily routine of waking up, fixing the curtains, brushing his teeth, combing his hair, and then sitting in front of the TV all day long. I miss it when we fight about TV. I got my TV addiction from him, perhaps.

It has been 23 days, Papa. Not a single day do I never miss everything about you. I’m sorry I was always away from home because of college. I wish we talked while we watch TV. We were always silent but it was always the kind of silence that was never awkward. I miss eating with you. I loved eating dinner because of you and your wonderful appetite that never went away. I miss you singing me to sleep.

It has been 23 days, Papa. I’m struggling without you here.
But you have taught me well. I will be strong for you.

I posted the photo above on Facebook with the caption:

 If I only had Marty McFly’s phone number, I will definitely call him to borrow his time machine so I could go back to the 50′s and see how you did your job, Papa. But needless to say, I know you kicked ass. Good take, Direk! See you up there. Watch over us! ♥ I love you and I will make you proud.

But you know what? I don’t want to go back to the 50′s to see you direct films.

I just want to go back to October 4, 2011 at 11:30am and smile at you and tell you thank you and I’m sorry and I love you.

Ingat, Papa.

May angels lead you in.

I drown.

And then nothing good follows.

Because most of the time, I have many things going on in my mind.
Because most of the time, I have too many questions.

Nothing good follows.

I remember posting this on my Tumblr many months ago. I just felt like putting it here, I don’t know why. I don’t even remember clearly why I wrote this before.

Anyway, I haven’t written my supposed-to-be-and-forever-pending entries. Sorry for being disloyal, dear blog.

I still need to post about Handog and being an FBC and about my Bio life and about my other shenanigans and thoughts, but I’m rushing right now (I still need to study cat muscles tonight) and I have a feeling that those posts will be long. I have this habit of being a lazy writer, but when I write I just can seem to find the stop button.

Sooo… some updates.

• I went to my blockmate’s Monique’s debut last August 27!

Who's that Pokemon?

Hi Francis!

Vain photo kkk

Lookbook pose, anyone?

"Elegant"

Wooo. What we needed.

Sunshine, you were missed.

Today I realized:

• I get higher grades in tests that require memorization when I cram reviewing.
• I fail, fail, fail at Math (since UP happened).
• I must improve my study habits, but consider that I must still be comfortable with it.
• I need to get out of my comfort zone.
• So many things I want to do, so little time.
• I sleep like a baby.
• I smell like bread. (Alcantara, 2011)
• Life is no hard feat if you choose and want it to be.
• I am nowhere near, and will never be perfect. At all.
• The best part? Nobody is, anyway.

I still have to blog about:

• Handog 2011
•  other shenanigans
• other shenanigans
• other shenanigans

Yesterday at 12am, I was greeted by my family, friends (through texts), and Choy. I also got quite a handful of Facebook wall greetings which I had a hard time replying to. @-) I heard from my high school friends again. I miss them so much.

I did not really celebrate. What I did yesterday:

• Read for Psych 10 while watching Got To Dance UK! Damn I love that show. I have a crush on one of the judges HIHIHI.
• Did homework for Chem 18.
• Read for Psych 10 again.
• Read other books.
• Made posters for Handog.
• Went to church.
• Had dinner with my mom, brother, and my brother’s girlfriend.
• Went shoe shopping. (Me gots cute shiny flats for only 120 pesos! Good deal, huh?)
• That’s basically it.

Hi there, reader. It’s 4:54pm on my clock, June 25th of the year 2011. It’s my brother’s birthday today… and then tomorrow’s mine. I’m turning 17. I don’t feel like it. I’m still that loud but awkward 12-year old in my insides.

Anyhoo, it’s a (very) rainy Sunday morning and I just came home (Bulacan) from Manila. I go home to Bulacan every weekend/when there’s no classes (We have a 5-day vacation now because of holidays and faculty conferences). I was supposed to go home last Thursday, but because of the rain and because we (FBCs or Freshman Block Coordinators – I’ll blog about this soon hehe) were supposed to have activities yesterday and today, I just came home this afternoon.

So yeahp, I think I need to provide you guys a proper introduction. This will be very random.

I am Stephanie Nathy Catindig; my friends call me Steph. Before, I really get annoyed when people call me Nathy, but I got used to it now, I guess. I am sixteen will be seventeen years of age tomorrow. How time flies. I am taking up Biology at the University of the Philippines-Manila. Sophomore, yo. Future MD. I am a part of the Freshman Block Coordination Program of UP Manila. We are the ate‘s and kuya’s of the new freshman students and each of us handles a block section. I am an alumni of Montessori De Sagrada Familia–my dear alma mater. I live in the Philippines and I am proud to be a Filipino. I write better in Filipino, but I usually use English in the interwebz aw yeah.

I like being surrounded by the people that I love and I also love talking. I will tell all about the things I love as you read on.

Okay, more information. I am a very short person, but my voice can make your ears hurt, I tell you. I do not know how to whisper. I also have a wide forehead so bangs is mandatory. I am always hungry. I am always hungry. I am ETERNALLY hungry. (Three times for emphasis.) I do not know how to twirl my spaghetti so I get embarrassed whenever I eat pasta outside of my house. I love dogs! I also have this inexplicable love for the color green. I have this habit of correcting people’s (wrong) grammar, but I’m not perfect myself. I am opinionated. Fickle, but critical. Impulsive, but grounded. Always happy on the outside, but composed. I’m a little bit of everything, really.

I spend too much time on the internet and doodling nonsense stuff. And sleeping. I can sleep for 14 hours straight. I don’t know, I think I just really love my bed. I have this perpetual love for cute pens and nice-smelling notebooks and cool post-its and okay you get it. I’m sometimes an artsy fatsy when I feel like it. I even aspired to be a painter when I was young. Hanggang aspiration na lang ‘yun, hahaha. I like writing, too. And food. Heeheeee.

Music holds such a special place in my heart. I play the guitar and a little bit of piano, but I’m no pro. I cannot live a day without listening to music. It keeps me sane. I also like taking photos. I have been interested in photography for the longest time and I got my first big girl camera three years ago. But again, I’m no pro. I haven’t even touched my camera lately… Kit lens forever huhuhu.

I want to be an astronaut someday. Always have, always will.
I have small, fat feet. But this pair will step on the moon someday.

Anyway, I told myself that I will keep this short, and I must. I still have a long list of to-do’s that I need to accomplish. I will end here. You will know me as this blog grows older. Ciao!

To end this, here’s a ~decent~ photo of me taken last May. I’m not pretty okay.

Le ~decent~ photo